Notice when each response happens
Compare a moment when you sought contact with one when you pulled away. Did they happen in the same interaction or in different situations? Record what happened before interpreting the reason.
What this reflection can tell you
The Relationship Patterns checklist summarizes your own reported behavior in one relationship over the past three months. It is an original reflection, not a validated attachment scale, and does not assign an attachment type.
Questions you might have
Does wanting both closeness and space mean I am disorganized?
No. This combination of reported behaviors is not enough to assign an attachment classification.
Can I use this to assess my partner?
The questions ask about your own behavior. They do not establish another person’s thoughts, motives, or attachment style.
Sources & further reading
Our practical suggestions are reflection prompts, not findings from a personalized assessment. Read our editorial and measurement approach.